Favor Bank Rules
Posted by David Brensilber at 12/28/2007 3:39 PM and is filed under uncategorized 
As follow up to understanding the Favor Bank, I have been asked a couple of questions:
1. If and when you die, are your credits in the favor bank transfered to you family?
2. When can you say not to someone who has requested a favor, and is the standard different if you owe that person a favor?
As I answer these questions, you will begin to understand my view of the Favor Bank, and corresponding view of the world.
I view the credits in a favor bank as something that is personnel to you which can not be sold or transferred in any manner. If your friend owes you a favor, you can not have your brother ask your friend for a favor in return. The strange thing is, you can ask your friend to do you a favor by helping out your brother. In this way, your friend is doing you a favor by doing your brother the favor. If favors were transferable then they could live on for generations until they were paid off. This is not right.
With respect to declining a request for a favor, you can turn a request for any and all reasons including not wanting to do a favor unless you are indebted to the other person. For example, if a friend asks you to help hooking up a computer and you say no because you want to watch the football game, is that ok? Of course.
In the event you over the requester a favor, there is a higher standard required to decline the favor (like conflicting obligations or th requested favor is a much bigger favor then the original favor).
If you decline the request for a favor, the requester should not take offense to your refusal. In the end, you are not obligated to help anyone doing anything.
What would you do in response to these requests:
1. If and when you die, are your credits in the favor bank transfered to you family?
2. When can you say not to someone who has requested a favor, and is the standard different if you owe that person a favor?
As I answer these questions, you will begin to understand my view of the Favor Bank, and corresponding view of the world.
I view the credits in a favor bank as something that is personnel to you which can not be sold or transferred in any manner. If your friend owes you a favor, you can not have your brother ask your friend for a favor in return. The strange thing is, you can ask your friend to do you a favor by helping out your brother. In this way, your friend is doing you a favor by doing your brother the favor. If favors were transferable then they could live on for generations until they were paid off. This is not right.
With respect to declining a request for a favor, you can turn a request for any and all reasons including not wanting to do a favor unless you are indebted to the other person. For example, if a friend asks you to help hooking up a computer and you say no because you want to watch the football game, is that ok? Of course.
In the event you over the requester a favor, there is a higher standard required to decline the favor (like conflicting obligations or th requested favor is a much bigger favor then the original favor).
If you decline the request for a favor, the requester should not take offense to your refusal. In the end, you are not obligated to help anyone doing anything.
What would you do in response to these requests:
- Your parents ask you to pick them up at the airport (110 miles away) during a rehearsal party that you were all invited to.
- A friend asks you to jump start his car at 3:00 in the morning when it is 20 degrees outside.
- A friend asks you to negotiate a deal he wants to undertake
I find it to be a sad fact that most my family members do not care to subscribe to the favor bank. They hustle to milk the most out of life, people & family to get what they want for their benefit. By making sure I understand that my kindness & generosity are completely unsolicited and uninvited, they are essentially writing themselves a favor bank exemption (pass) -- deplorable right??? Some of the wealthiest people I know go through life with a catchers mitts on each hand. Not too many want to through anything back into the game of life.
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