In the spirit of helping people deal with those insulting interview question, I am reprinting an article I found that Liz Ryan wrote for the Examiner. 

Here are some of the idiotic and insulting interview questions you may be asked, with snappy answers for each. You may not actually open your mouth and say these things, but you can be thinking about them while you say, "Why, let me think about that....I guess if I had to be any kind of Campbell's Soup, I'd be vegetable - being as conscious of Mother Earth as, of course, I am."

Stupid Interview Question: Why should we hire you, above the other candidates?

Snappy answer: My gosh, I wouldn't recommend doing that. I haven't met those other people, and unless this is the tail end of the interview process,you haven't either. It's very important to meet people before we evaluate them,in my opinion. Also, I'm not sure yet that I want to work here, and it would be a shame for you to reject a bunch of other people in order to make me an offer and then to have me say "No, I've decided to work somewhere else."Don't you think?

Stupid Interview Question: Whats your greatest weakness?

Snappy answer: I have a weakness for chocolate.

Stupid Interview Question: Whereto you see yourself in five years?

Snappy answer: I'll be pretty much where I am now, doing things that make me happy and spending my working time among smart and capable people. What about you?

Stupid Interview Question: If you were an animal, what kind would you be?

Snappy answer: I'd be an Ebola virus so I could infect your competition. Or a dust mite, so I could cling to the security guard's pants leg or the bottom of his shoe and come in to the office and get more work done after midnight. Although I'm not sure I'd be able to use a mouse.

Stupid Interview Question: What do people say about you?

Snappy answer: I heard a lady behind me at the supermarket say about me"Her highlights are exactly the color I want." But her hair was kind of dark - I don't think she'd get this color, frankly, no matter what she uses.

Stupid Interview Question: Can you verify your last salary?

Snappy answer: I want to make sure that I understand -- your company doesn't know what skills on the market are worth, so you rely on what some other, unrelated company has paid a person to determine what to pay that person yourselves? Oh dear, that is unfortunate.There is a tool that would make this sort of antiquated process obsolete for you - it's called the Internet. I could show you how to use it, if you're not sure. It would be my pleasure.

Stupid Interview Question: The bottom eighty percent of employees are dramatically less productive than the top twenty percent. What puts you in the top twenty percent?*

Snappy answer: Goodness gracious, I would feel very sorry for an organization where the leadership is so poor that eighty percent of the staff is unproductive. That sounds like a management problem. Surely you don't have that problem here? No, of course not - if you did, that would be very embarrassing for your company to admit to total strangers, like me.

Stupid Interview Question: Do you have any regular weekend or evening conflicts we should know about?

Snappy answer: Only one, that I think of as My Life, which requires me to go to events and spend time alone and read and bathe and eat and so on.That's a fixed obligation - I'm afraid it would be simply impossible for me to budge that one. As I understand it, there's a halfway house here in town that might be able to supply you with employees who have fewer such entanglements.Perhaps not, though - from what I understand, they're very big on promoting self-esteem in that program. Wish I could be of more help.