Things That Interest Me

How I Annoy My Wife II

2010-03-08T15:58:00Z

It turns out that my list of how I annoy wife is not complete. Each day, I continue to add to it. Todays additions include:

I snore
I leave my glass of water on the counter

I Annoy My Wife

2010-03-05T22:34:00Z

My wife keeps reminding her that annoy her. At first it bothered me but over time, I guess I have become immune to it. I thought it would be interesting (at least to me) if I kept a list of how I annoy her. So today I annoy her by:

Not closing the cabinet in the bathroom. I guess leaving it open an inch is too much of an eyesore for her.
Eating a banana. If a banana is out on the counter it is fair game but of course I am wrong.
Talking too loud on the telephone.

8 Reasons Your Resume Stinks

2010-02-26T21:38:00Z

To get the most out of your job search you need to have a very well written resume and the smallest mistake can be your downfall. Each job seeker is unique and certain details on your resume will make you stand out professionally!

When writing a good resume, you should focus on making sure that it will not be disregarded or discarded because of one of the following resume red flags:

Job Search RED FLAG #1 – TYPO on your Resume!

The top resume blunder is a typographical error – most companies and recruiters will not excuse more than two typos and there is a 95% chance that your resume will be tossed to the B or C candidates pile. You want to be on the A list. Most hiring professionals will take your typo as an indication of your skill-set, and as a measure of your office software experience- everyone has spell-check or even perhaps that you are not that interesting in the roll because you couldn’t be bothered to edit your resume.

You need to proofread 2 or 3 times before you distribute your resume. Even ask a friend to check it too; a fresh set of eyes always catches something you might have missed. Remember your resume is your first impression to HR or even a future boss.

Job Search RED FLAG #2 – Irrelevant Information

Job seekers sometimes try to show their softer side and relate information that is not specific to their careers. Remember to outline all your key attributes to your future career and how you want to get there, leverage your experience. Putting your golf handicap or where you went on your second honeymoon is not irrelevant. We can guarantee HR will cast your resume into the trash without even putting you on a list!

Job Search RED FLAG #3 – Fancy Format Mistakes

Your resume is looked over by an HR professional, they will scan your resume within 20-30 seconds. If the top of the resume is not formatted or seems unprofessional and messy, it will work against you. Use Word or PDF and don’t overdo the format with too many lines and fancy boxes etc. – the simpler, the better. You don’t want to seem like you are overcompensating because of lack of expertise. Make it easy for HR to view it, comprehend it, qualify your key skills and file it for immediate follow up.

Job Search RED FLAG #4 – There is no “I” in Job

Don’t ever say: “I was responsible for day-to-day” operations

Say: “Responsible for day to day operations”

Relate to your self as a third party and you will stand out and seem more professional.

Job Search RED FLAG #5 – Jack of all trades, master of none

24% of job seekers believe they will look better to employers if they appear “well-traveled” and overload their resume with tedious descriptions of multiple committees they are on, how many different and varying job titles they have had, different industries and cities they’ve worked in etc. Regrettably, this has the opposite effect because it will make you appear as desperate and without talent.

Job Search RED FLAG #6 – Blow your own horn…a little too loud

Be modest. Don’t brag about your achievements, this will look aloof and obnoxious. Do NOT write the following type of statements: “ I am the best in my field”, “My achievements are unsurpassed”, “You need to hire someone like me or else your competition will! ”

Job Search RED FLAG #7 – Education…it’s on here somewhere

Don’t save the best for last. Most HR professionals want to see your education first, your functional and technical know-how second and thirdly your professional experience.

Job Search RED FLAG #8 – Attached file all jumbled

Imagine you e-mail your resume as an attachment, only when it gets to your intended recipient’s email it looks nothing like it did on your computer. This is a calamity of the Internet, and formatting gets messed up more then job seekers realize. Next time you’ve revised, proofread and are ready to send out your resume, test email it out to a few of your close associates. Then you can verify how it looks on their computer – if it looks the same – send away – if not, fix it! The safest format to save your resume is in Adobe PDF; most computers are able to read this file and when the file is opened it will appear just as it was sent.

Worst Job Ever

2010-02-11T16:39:00Z

Now this is great advertising for a job board. At least for guys. The major shame is that the job board is in Portuguese

Execution -- The Gap Nobody Knows

2010-01-28T14:46:00Z

Execution is a systematic process of rigorously discussing hows and whats, questioning, tenaciously following through and ensuring accountability. You need accountability for results -- discussed openly and agreed to by those responsible -- to get things done and reward the best performers. You need follow through to ensure the plans are on track

Execution -- The Discipline of Getting Things Done

2010-01-27T19:48:00Z

One of my prior bosses purchased Execution -- The Discipline of Getting Things Done by Larry Bossidy and Ram Charan to help focus our efforts on executing the business plan. I loved the book and found it to be inspirational. I thought that I would provide some excerpts of the next few days of the thoughts that I liked the best.

Everybody talks about change. In recent years, a small industry of changemeisters has preached revolution, reinvention.... But unless you translate big thoughts into concrete steps for action, they're pointless. Without execution, the breakthrough thinks breaks down, learning adds no value, people don't meet stretch goals, and the revolution stops dead in its tracks. What you get is change for the worse, because failure drains the energy from your organization. Repeated failure destroys it.

No company can deliver on its commitments or adapt well to change unless all leaders practice the discipline of execution on all levels. Execution has to be a part of a company's strategy and its goals. It is the missing link between aspirations and results. As such it is a major of a business leader.

The Worst Restaurant on Long Island -- LL Dent

2010-01-24T16:19:00Z

In deciding what was the worst restaurant that you have eaten at, do you consider the food, service and decor or just the food. I would lean towards the food taking the lion's share of the responsibility. This past weekend, I had the pleasure of having the worst dining experience ever. My advice is to eat anywhere else other than LL Dent.

My wife and I went to LL Dent in Carle Place for dinner. We started off with the corn bread which was pretty good. We should have left right then and there. Following that, the food was awful. I had the fried chicken and my wife order the meatloaf. When the meatloaf came, it looked terrible and tasted worst. She then order the barbecue chicken which should have been a safe bet (but was not). My fried chicken had no taste.

We could not ever entertain the idea of dessert at this restaurant. I would like to say that service made up for the food but it was below par as well.

My recommendation is to avoid at all costs.

Some Thoughts on Management

2010-01-22T22:45:00Z

I was looking at the Guth-Renker website and found their Ten Commandments of Management and thought that they were great.

1. Thou shalt not be afraid to take risks.

2. Thou shalt make thy competitor thy friend.

3. Thou shalt pick great partners.

4. Thou shalt build thy rolodex and use it.

5. Thou shalt test, test, and test again.

6. Thou shalt cultivate the mini-media universe.

7. Thou shalt join and lead thy association and trade group.

8. Thou shalt cultivate the press and build thy company's brand name at all times.

9. Thou shalt not limit thy upside.

10. Thou shalt be prepared to eliminate all these commandments and start over.

Foursquare Comes to the Blackberry

2010-01-22T18:10:00Z

Great News!. Foursquare has finally come to the Blackberry.

The new app works with Research In Motion’s BlackBerry 8000 and 9000 series and has the basic functions as the app for the iPhone – users can see where friends are and check in at different locations, allowing for “virtual badges.” But it doesn’t yet have all the features of Foursquare’s social network, such as allowing users to add new friends.

“From a core-functionality perspective, the app for BlackBerry is equal, but for those side features, for now you still have to go to foursquare via the mobile web,” says Foursquare cofounder Naveen Selvadurai.

Foursquare’s app comes as location-based apps are becoming more popular.

But Foursquare’s Mr. Selvadurai says that other location-based apps are not necessarily competitors. “We’re sticking very closely with our thesis which is, how can we make our city easy to use? How can you share data better with your friends? We’re still building towards that, but at the same time, I don’t think anyone is really there yet.”

Tristan Walker, the head of business development for Foursquare, estimates current Foursquare app users to be around a quarter of a million. He says the company hopes to make money by working with “local mom and pop shops” as well as mid-sized retailers. For instance, he said, Tasti D-Lite recently launched a Loyalty Program on Foursquare, through which customers can earn and redeem points by tweeting or checking in on Foursquare while stopping by the ice cream chain.

But the company is not yet profitable. “We’re still at a point where we’re getting feedback,” he said. “Right now we have over 500 venues on board with our platform, so we think there may be value we can extract from that by giving them sophisticated analytics.”

The company launched on the iPhone in March 2009 and then expanded to Google’s Android platform and Palm Pre devices. In September, the company received $1.35 million dollars from Union Square Ventures, which has also invested in Boxee, Tumblr, and Twitter.

37 WEIRD JOBS THAT YOU CAN ACTUALLY MAKE A LIVING AT

2010-01-21T14:22:00Z

I found this list of really weird jobs on jobprofiles.org and thought it had a good list of jobs that some of which I never know existed.

How many of us out there hate that one sound that signals your day is about to start. That sound that reminds us that we have to head off to the same boring job we've wanted to quit so badly. When you hear this dreaded alarm sound do you ever thing about going to a different jobs. Not necessarily one that makes you a huge amount of money or provides you with fame and glory, but a job that you never thought anyone could have? With the rising popularity of shows like Dirty jobs on the discovery Channel, we are starting to open our eyes the gamut of possibilities when it comes to employment. However we shouldn't just focus on dirty jobs, but focus our attention on jobs that are just plain weird!There are a huge number of people out there who do jobs that we cannot even comprehend. Jobs that don't seem like they should exist, but they do. We've all wondered about what weird jobs are out there, but now you can find out exactly what some people actually make a living at and just how weird occupations can get. The following jobs are in no particular order and not listed in terms of weirdness; that decision will be left up to you.

1. Odor Tester

This one is pretty odd, but some chemist has to make sure that all of those deodorants and anti-perspirants are operating properly to keep their users free of funks.

2. Hair Boiler

This lucky soul gets to boil various kinds of animal hair until it curls for later use. We know that burning hair smells terrible; try to imagine catching the aroma of hair boil soup all day, no thanks

3. Waste Station/Water Treatment Worker

Maybe more dirty than weird, but anytime someone has to deal with other peoples crap I think you can classify it as a weird job. Let us just take a minute to think about the things that go down our toilets and have a moment of silence for these brave men and women.

4. Citrus Fruit Dyer

Have you ever passed by the lemons at the supermarket and though to yourself, damn that's some good looking citrus! Well it might be because there commercial farmers out there who dye the fruit a more vibrant color to hide the ripeness of the fruit.

5. Crocodile Wrangler

Many of us are privy to this unusual occupation due to the late, great Steve Irwin, but no matter how accustomed we become to handling animals it will always be a little out there. A nice mix of danger and excitement for what many would consider low pay.

6. Fortune Cookie Writer

Yes, we've all wondered who the heck writes those fortunes in English. Finishing a take-out Chinese meal isn't only full of MSG, but those delightfully witty pieces of advice that people are so quick to heed.

7. Pet Detective

Another one we might have missed if it weren't for a film or television show. Ace Ventura, pet detective, displayed just how important this job is, especially when Dan Marino is in trouble! Personally I would've gone with a missing ad in the paper, but these folks are sure to find that furry member of the family.

8. Cheese Sprayer

Don't worry; I am not talking about someone spraying chemicals on your cheese. This person is actually in charge of spraying either cheese or butter on popcorn. Yet another job that most people might have guessed was done by a machine, but how else would you engineer that perfect, handcrafted cheese coating on every kernel?

9. IMAX Screen Cleaner

If you've ever seen an IMAX screen, these things are huge!But someone has to make sure that bad boy is crystal clear so we can travel through the Grand Canyon or explore the human body via a gigantic screen in a circular room.

10. Chimney Sweeper

Here is another job which could be more on the dirty side. The unfortunate person partaking in this age old profession is sure to be covered in soot and ash by the end of the day. It a fact that around the turnof the twentieth century people use to use young children to chimney sweep because they were small enough to fit inside the tiny chimneys some structures used.Even poets like Blake and Kingsley have written about this one. I'm pretty sure(I hope) technology has brought this one up to date.

11. Light Bender

Making neon lights seems like it would be a relatively easy job, but it requires a lot of precision and electrical work.Apparently if the lights don't have the proper thickness and shaping, they will amount to nothing more than broken glass. This job has to be quite lucrative in a town like Las Vegas.

12. Odd Job Journalist

A writer gets actually paid money to write articles about other weird and odd jobs that exist. Maybe someday he'll find a real job of his own. Hey, wait a minute...

13. Professional whistler

Believe it or not there are people who whistle tunes for a living. Allegedly this gentleman is well versed in several different genres of music.

14. Fountain Pen repairer

Honestly, I think most of us would have to be fairly wealthy and care a hell of a lot about our fountain pens to have them repaired rather than go buy another pen.

15. Snake Milker

If you ever get bitten by a poisonous snake you'll be grateful these people know how to work with animals. They are responsible for getting the venom out of snakes to make the anti-venom. Be honest,which one of you thought that snakes had actual milk glands?

16. Wrinkle Chasers

Nobody likes that crease that shoes get after about a month right below the toe line. Well wrinkle chasers make sure those leather crow's feet never appear on those shiny new shoes before they leave the factory. Now can we please find someone to invent something that keeps it that way?

17. Rodeo Clowns

I know that I've always been fascinated with those Spaniards in Pamplonawho risk their lives in the running of the bulls, but rodeo clowns do it for a living. You have to give them some respect though. Their theatrics not only takes guts, but you have to be fairly secure in your masculinity to do this covered in makeup.

18. Cow Hoof Trimmer

Just like horseshoes, cows need some hoof maintenance too. These fine animals can have poor milk production, lameness, and decreased fertility if not properly groomed. Try to imagine giving a cow a pedicure.

19. Chicken Sexer

Going through baby chicks and separating them according to sex. I hear this job is pretty easy, if you just play bad 80's music and set things up like a 5th grade dance, they separate themselves.

20. Ostrich Babysitter

Apparently this guy gets to sit in a field full of ostrich and make sure that they didn't peck each other to death or get stolen. Any job where you can sit down, read a book and do absolutely no work is always a plus, but I have heard that these birds' behavior can get a little aggressive.

21. Furniture Tester

Ever been sitting in your favorite chair or sofa and say to yourself, man I wish I could do this for a living. Well some really lucky human being actually tests out furniture for companies like la-Z-Boy. A new definition of the phrase "couch potato."

22. Cartoon People/Mascots

Remember when you went to Disneyworldfor the first time when you were eight? You got to meet Mickey Mouse and Goofey! Well we all now know that those are real people in there and are aware of it, this is still a pretty weird job.

23. Oyster Floater

They float oysters on a barge in running water until they are completely free of impurities, also a short term storage method. Sounds like a cranberry field full of oysters and I can imagine this isn't the cleanest job in the world. But if you enjoy the taste of these slimy shellfish, I'm sure you can sneak a lot in during your shift.

24. Neck Skewer

Basically this job involves skewing the neck of beef halves with a steel rod after the head of the cow has been removed. 500 pound raw beef shish kabob anyone?

25. Adult Store attendant

One of the more harder-to-stomach professions,unless you're a pervert. Sooner or later we have to get into some nasty jobs.In this case the adult store worker not only takes care of the store, but has to clean up the booths where clientele "test" the pornographic merchandise. Probably a good candidate for The Discovery Channel's popular program, and one heck of a way to apply that human services degree.

26. Braille Translator

Someone has to modify all sorts of texts and convert them to Braille for the blind. This can include novels, music, textbooks, and brochures. There is nothing wrong with making things more accessible for the blind and this one sounds like it's a quite useful job, but it does sound tedious.

27. Ski Slope illustrator

Fortune Magazine has also done some investigating and sure enough there is someone out there who has to draw those trail maps on the ski slopes around the world. Fortune has also mentioned our next weird job...

28. Dog Food Tester

Watch out guys, this gal is going to have some great breath in store for you. Just like any other meals, dog food needs to be inspected too. I suppose they can't use dogs to test the food so this profession requires a taste testing of such a delicious cuisine.

29. Gum Buster

Have you ever sat in a park bench and had the misfortune of placing your hand in old gum? Well that's where these guys come in, removing gum that resides all over the place.

30. Fantasy Broker

If you want your dreams to come true then talk to these folks. Their job is to make sure that if you want something, you get it. Kind of like a concierge of life. If I were in the business of making fantasies come to life, I think I'd charge quite a large amount.

31. Golf Ball Diver

I know every time I hit the range, about three balls head into the water and I suspect it's the same way for most. These quasi-scubas get in there and find all those balls and probably clean them up for resale. If you want to scuba dive in the Mediterraneanfor living, this might be as close as you get.

32. Whiskey Ambassador

Let's face it, this is every over 21 year old's dream job. You would be responsible for choosing only the finest whiskeys and teaching your clients the proper way to taste and admire the different attributes which this delicious liquor can possess. Sign me up!

33. Nasty Stunt producer

Perhaps you've tuned in to shows like Fear Factor which use insane stunts involving all sorts of insect and animal parts intended on grossing the contestants out. Well this profession's job is to research these insects and animals and make sure the stunts are safe and appropriate for the shows. Huge cockroach,bon appetit.

34. Forest Fire Lookout

If you happen to be an extreme hermit who has very little time to do important things, there might be a national park out there that will pay you (a very low wage) to sit in a tower and make sure none of those pesky landscape altering fires occur.

35. Weed Farmer

Don't get too excited all you slackers, that's not what I'm talking about. Weed farmers actually grow weeds rather than trying to get rid of them. They sell them to horticulture schools and labs so various people can do research and studies in the wonderful world of weeds.

36. Carney

Some people make their living as a full time carney. The pay is decent, the scenery changes, and you get take advantage of young people by enticing them with stuffed animals in games that are impossible to win.

37. Dice Inspector

With one false move of a single die a person can lose quite a bit of money on those craps tables. The dice inspector checks for proportionality, specific angles, and blemishes. I guess if dice are not perfect they can't be the reason for you going broke in the casino.

Definitely some of the weirdest jobs that people actually make a living doing. Some jobs are dirty, some boring, and some just plain weird, but taking a look at an array of these wacky professions can make most of us respect the normal jobs most of us have. No matter how rough the day gets, taking time to inform ourselves on just how awkward jobs can be.The next time you wake to that dreaded alarm, remind yourself that you don't have to work at a job like one of these jobs, and then go ahead and breathe a sigh of relief. But the next time you find yourself unemployed, watch out for some of these jobs; maybe you'll fall in love with trimming cow hoofs or scuba diving for golf balls.

Can an Employer Force You to Wear Specific Clothing

2010-01-20T16:58:00Z

I work with someone who usually wears polo shirts that he receives from a trade show with another company's name on it. We were wondering if we could force him to actually dress more appropriately for the office. I believe so after checking out the New York Department of Labor website. In their Frequently Asked Questions they had the following question

Q. Can employers require their employees to wear uniforms?

A: Yes, however, the cost of purchasing and/or maintaining a uniform must not bring the employee below the minimum wage. If workers at the minimum wage rate must wear a uniform, their employers must clean and maintain them or pay the employees to do so. Ordinary clothing (such as black trousers and white shirts) are generally not considered "uniforms."

I assume that their are other rules relating to appropriate attire and such (so it is not an absolute right).

So not only can we require him to wear dress shirts, we can dictate the color. So the question will be, what color should we make Chris wear?

It's Official -- Steve is Divorced!

2010-01-18T16:08:00Z

I have just received official word that Steve is now divorced. It only took four years but Steve is a free man. Please pardon the Dr. Martin Luther King reference but Steve is now Free At Last, Free At Last.

So how do you celebrate a divorce. Do you have a party or a memorial? I would lean towards a party.

So what it means to me? I lost the pool so no cheesesteak for me.

CareerExcuse.com -- Professional Job Reference Service??

2010-01-15T14:46:00Z

I came across a site named CareerExcuse.com. Their services include fake letters of reference, fake landlord references, fake funeral excuses and fake resume guides. I did not know whether this site was a spoof or not. After doing some research and talking to a friend, I have to conclude that it is real. Now this is scary.

Assuming that this site is real, I am astonished that someone would come up with this idea. As way of background, more than half of people lie on their resumes. I guess it is a sign of the times. What this site is doing is saying that it is OK to lie on your resume since everyone else does. They also say that if you get fired for lying on your resume, then you are on our own.

To help you nail down that elusive job at the salary you want, CareerExcuse will also sell you fake pay stubs, fake letters of recommendation, fake letters of appreciation and fake certificates of achievement.

Get the job (by lying!) but don't get any vacation days in the first year? For an additional fee they would love to help you out with fake doctor's notes and yes, fake funeral notices so you can take a bereavement vacation.

From CareerExcuse.com's FAQs:

Q: Is misinformation on a resume illegal?

A: No, Since a resume is not a legal document, it is not illegal to misrepresent on a resume.

Q: Can I get caught and fired?

A: We can't guarantee that you wont and not liable if you do. If you get the job in the first place..we did our part. It's up to you to act responsible after you get the job.

The one thing that I did not see on the site was testimonials on how great this service was. Was that because they only have dissatisfied customers?

I would be curious is anyone obtained a job using their services and to see if they kept their job for more than a probationary period.

So my question is how do employers protect themselves against services like these?

Crazy Jobseekers

2010-01-14T14:30:00Z

The last couple of days I have published crazy interview questions. In the spirit of fairness, let’s talk about the crazy behavior of the jobseekers. This behavior is even more amazing due to the importance of the interviews to the jobseekers. I would love to hear more stories like these. Here are some of the odd things reported by HR professionals.

1. "... said he was so well-qualified that if he didn't get the job, it would prove that the company's management was incompetent."

2. "... stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application."

3. "... brought her large dog to the interview."

4. "... chewed bubble gum and constantly blew bubbles."

5. "Candidate kept giggling through serious interview."

6. "She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time."

7. "Balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece."

8. "Applicant challenged interviewer to arm wrestle."

9. "... asked to see interviewer's resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate."

10. "... announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fries in the interviewer's office."

11. "Without saying a word, candidate stood up and walked out during the middle of the interview."

12. "Man wore jogging suit to interview for position as financial vice president."

13. "Stated that, if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm."

14. "Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions."

15. "... wouldn't get out of the chair until I would hire him. I had to call the police."

16. "When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing around my office."

17. "... had a little pinball game and challenged me to play with him."

18. "... bounced up and down on my carpet and told me I must be highly thought of by the company because I was given such a thick carpet."

19. "At the end of the interview, while I stood there dumbstruck, went through my purse, took out a brush, brushed his hair, and left."

20. "... pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me. Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him."

21. "Candidate asked me if I would put on a suit jacket to insure that the offer I had made was formal."

22. "Said he wasn't interested because the position paid too much."

23. "While I was on a long-distance phone call, the applicant took out a copy of Penthouse, and looked through the photos only, stopping longest at the centerfold."

24. "During the interview, an alarm clock went off from the candidate's brief case. He took it out, shut it off, apologized and said he had to leave for another interview."

25. "A telephone call came in for the job applicant. It was from his wife. His side of the conversation went like this: "Which company? When do I start? What's the salary?" I said, "I assume you're not interested in conducting the interview any further." He promptly responded, "I am as long as you'll pay me more." "I didn't hire him, but later found out there was no other job offer. It was a scam to get a higher offer."

26. "An applicant came in wearing only one shoe. She explained that the other shoe was stolen off her foot in the bus."

27. "His attache [case] opened when he picked it up and the contents spilled, revealing ladies' undergarments and assorted makeup and perfume."

28. "He came to the interview with a moped and left it in the reception area. He didn't want it to get stolen, and stated that he would require indoor parking for the moped."

29. "He took off his right shoe and sock, removed a medicated foot powder and dusted it on the foot and in the shoe. While he was putting back the shoe and sock, he mentioned that he had to use the powder four times a day, and this was the time."

30. "Candidate said he really didn't want to get a job, but the unemployment office needed proof that he was looking for one."

31. "He whistled when the interviewer was talking."

32. "... asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to the picture on my desk. When I said it was my wife, he asked if she was home now and wanted my phone number. I called security."

33. "... she threw-up on my desk, and immediately started asking questions about the job, like nothing had happened."

34. "Pointing to a black case he carried into my office, he said that if he was not hired, the bomb would go off. Disbelieving, I began to state why he would never be hired and that I was going to call the police. He then reached down to the case, flipped a switch and ran. No one was injured, but I did need to get a new desk."

35. "... asked if I wanted some cocaine before starting the interview."

Additional Stupid Interview Questions

2010-01-11T20:28:00Z

I was looking at some crazy interview questions that I have come across and compiled this list. If you have found some reason for why an interviewer would ask these questions, please let me know.

If you could be a tree, what tree would you be?
What type of animal are you most like?
What would I find in your refrigerator right now?
If you could have dinner with a famous historical figure, who would it be?
How many squares are in this figure?
A plane crashes on the border between USA and Canada. Where did they bury the survivors?
If you were dying of thirst would you drink blood?
Why are you dressed so nicely for this interview
Are you addicted to happiness?
Who do you like more, your mother or your father?
Are you a habitual smiler?
When you have a party, do you clean before bed or in the morning?
Have you ever paid a bill late?
If you were a Star Trek® [or Star Wars® ] character, which one would it be?
What is your favorite color?
You are invited to a large cocktail party at a country club. When you arrive, the room where the party is being held is already over half full of people. How do they react to you when you enter the room?
Why are manhole covers round?
What is your favorite drink?
What would I find in your refrigerator right now?
What is the last book you read?
if you could trade places with any other person for a week, famous or not famous, living or dead, real or fictional. with whom would it be?
If aliens landed in front of you and, in exchange for anything you desire, offered you any position on their planet, what would you want?
If you were a type of food, what type of food would you be?
If you won $20 million in the lottery, what would you do with the money?

Truly Stupid Interview Questions and Some Appropriate Responses

2010-01-11T20:24:00Z

In the spirit of helping people deal with those insulting interview question, I am reprinting an article I found that Liz Ryan wrote for the Examiner.

Here are some of the idiotic and insulting interview questions you may be asked, with snappy answers for each. You may not actually open your mouth and say these things, but you can be thinking about them while you say, "Why, let me think about that....I guess if I had to be any kind of Campbell's Soup, I'd be vegetable - being as conscious of Mother Earth as, of course, I am."

Stupid Interview Question: Why should we hire you, above the other candidates?

Snappy answer: My gosh, I wouldn't recommend doing that. I haven't met those other people, and unless this is the tail end of the interview process,you haven't either. It's very important to meet people before we evaluate them,in my opinion. Also, I'm not sure yet that I want to work here, and it would be a shame for you to reject a bunch of other people in order to make me an offer and then to have me say "No, I've decided to work somewhere else."Don't you think?

Stupid Interview Question: Whats your greatest weakness?

Snappy answer: I have a weakness for chocolate.

Stupid Interview Question: Whereto you see yourself in five years?

Snappy answer: I'll be pretty much where I am now, doing things that make me happy and spending my working time among smart and capable people. What about you?

Stupid Interview Question: If you were an animal, what kind would you be?

Snappy answer: I'd be an Ebola virus so I could infect your competition. Or a dust mite, so I could cling to the security guard's pants leg or the bottom of his shoe and come in to the office and get more work done after midnight. Although I'm not sure I'd be able to use a mouse.

Stupid Interview Question: What do people say about you?

Snappy answer: I heard a lady behind me at the supermarket say about me"Her highlights are exactly the color I want." But her hair was kind of dark - I don't think she'd get this color, frankly, no matter what she uses.

Stupid Interview Question: Can you verify your last salary?

Snappy answer: I want to make sure that I understand -- your company doesn't know what skills on the market are worth, so you rely on what some other, unrelated company has paid a person to determine what to pay that person yourselves? Oh dear, that is unfortunate.There is a tool that would make this sort of antiquated process obsolete for you - it's called the Internet. I could show you how to use it, if you're not sure. It would be my pleasure.

Stupid Interview Question: The bottom eighty percent of employees are dramatically less productive than the top twenty percent. What puts you in the top twenty percent?*

Snappy answer: Goodness gracious, I would feel very sorry for an organization where the leadership is so poor that eighty percent of the staff is unproductive. That sounds like a management problem. Surely you don't have that problem here? No, of course not - if you did, that would be very embarrassing for your company to admit to total strangers, like me.

Stupid Interview Question: Do you have any regular weekend or evening conflicts we should know about?

Snappy answer: Only one, that I think of as My Life, which requires me to go to events and spend time alone and read and bathe and eat and so on.That's a fixed obligation - I'm afraid it would be simply impossible for me to budge that one. As I understand it, there's a halfway house here in town that might be able to supply you with employees who have fewer such entanglements.Perhaps not, though - from what I understand, they're very big on promoting self-esteem in that program. Wish I could be of more help.